Another List!

    Many years ago while Jackie and I were inhabiting the Hard Rock Casino in Tampa, we decided on a blog topic that had great success and gave us a good many stories that make the plots of several comedy films look quite mundane!

   You can locate said post here! I finally found it! Haha! 

http://leolasimmaterialmusings.blogspot.com/2011/10/reasons-for-breaking-up-with-someone.html

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So, onward with business!

Here is a continuation of  "Reasons for breaking up with someone and justifiably not feeling bad about it." The Nick Edition.


And we begin with :

#1.   They turn out to be an Emo and cry profusely....all the time.

#2. They call you at one in the morning because their crack- head friend forgot that cars run on gasoline and oil. And now the car runs no more! Because it's owner was a meth slurping, booze swilling moron. And your Xani addled love is sitting on the concrete next to him. Nice.






 


#3. He calls you because, in one day:
He is so distraught, that he had $500 dollars stolen, in broad daylight, in the middle of a KFC! Then, he looses $150 of his own personal money from somewhere in his wallet, and as he is talking to you; distraught and upset and hyperventilating and pissing himself while in his company truck.....loses  control of the vehicle and hits a curb....busting the wheel off the truck and promptly getting fired. Now, all of us have bad days, however.....yeah.
    



#4. He wants to buy a miniature monkey. And harasses you about it for months while blatantly ignoring the fact that the pet brochure says they eat cats. Of which you have two.

#5. Mistakes you for the maid and keeps leaving doggie treats as tips.

#6. Tells you: "I don't know how to tell you this.......I have another boyfriend. Is that cool with you?" On the first date. 



































#7. No matter how many years you've been together, they leave the bathroom door open while dropping a deuce. And then don't wash their hands...and want to hug you.

#8. They have an all consuming need to be by your side 24 hours a day and have determined that work, school and your need to breathe are inconsequential. 

#9. They mumble obscenities and complaints constantly after a disagreement, and then tell you that nothing's wrong. When you distinctly heard them call you a mud- flipping, holocaustic, slack -jawed, yellow -bellied, guinea-napper. 

This is a Guinea. 

This is a Napper.


Don't say I never explain anything.




And finally!
#10.    Not really a date, but the co-worker that you hate so much you want to make out with. And for that I have a video!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNALZ5SkU9c




There you go! And I promise to update more...again....